The Life and Times of a Former Hoss: The Gift and the Curse

Shocking, another 1L blog. I bet if we didn't collectively spend so much time blogging, 1L may be less stressful. Find my thoughts on life, law, and... something else cliche that starts with an L.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bullet Biter

I went and did what everyone said you shouldn't do in law school. Join a study group. Well, I didn't really join one per se, I just went to a meeting today to feel it out, check out how I felt about it you know.... this should give you an idea how my peers feel about me.

Girl 1: I hear candy is the new penis.
Girl 2: (looks at me) You're scared of us now aren't you?
Me: Haha, no, it's gonna take a lot mor.....
Girl 1: Yeah, he's disgusting remember?
Girl 2: Oh yeah.... you are sick.

Who said these things aren't constructive?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I'm Baccccckkkkk (Cue the T.O. rap song)

I'm sure you all missed me... and no, if you were going to guess it hasn't been the Tiger Woods Golf that has kept me away. I've actually been pretending to be a student which is pretty much a brand new experience to me. Right now I'm hanging out in one of our lounges taking a much needed break from Torts and thought I would provide a few updates:

1) There is in fact a God. You know how I know? Carolina beat Clemson this year, 31-28. I almost wanted to cry.... every year that I was there for undergrad we lost this rivalry game and my first year out we pull off the victory. Must be that Spurrier magic, but if you really want to know how important the game is to me, this was a conversation that happened between me and my girlfriend during the game:

GF: "something something something I love you."
(Corey Boyd breaks 4 tackles)
Me: "I love Corey Boyd."

Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks this game is that important. Somewhere in South Carolina a man fatally shot one of his friends over a $20 bet on the game. The hatred really runs deep in this rivalry.

2) I was riding the subway today and there was an ad for a personal injury attorney that was entirely in Spanish. Okay, so that's not terribly surprising or exciting. But, you would never guess what the toll-free number for their firm was:

1-800-MARGARITA

I'm sending in my application as soon as the ABA will let me.

3) I don't understand the general lack of courtesy up here, people really act like opening a door for someone or holding an elevator is like straight out of the 1700s. Maybe it is, someone should clue me in. At the same time, it's really starting to rub off on me. You know, sometimes I really don't feel the need to postpone my elevator trip 2 seconds by waiting for you... plus, then I can point and laugh at you as the doors close in your face. And, I don't ever have to worry about that awkward elevator ride with you later because chances are you wouldn't share anyway.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Dear Santa

I'm praying to Santa now since it is at least getting close to Christmas time and I don't think there is a God anymore. If there was a God, Florida wouldn't have blocked South Carolina's field goals three times in one game. Or at the very least, God is not a Gamecocks fan. I would say he is not a Panthers fan, but we just aren't playing very well. But Santa (and maybe God too) should know that I am a devoted Gamecocks fan, and if they want to make my season and year complete, they will let us beat Clemson this year. That is all.

Dear Santa

I'm praying to Santa now since it is at least getting close to Christmas time and I don't think there is a God anymore. If there was a God, Florida wouldn't have blocked South Carolina's field goals three times in one game. Or at the very least, God is not a Gamecocks fan. I would say he is not a Panthers fan, but we just aren't playing very well. But Santa (and maybe God too) should know that I am a devoted Gamecocks fan, and if they want to make my season and year complete, they will let us beat Clemson this year. That is all.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A throwback for the ages

Do you ever watch movies you used to think were the shit when you were little, only to watch them when you're older and wonder what you were thinking? Enter the Mighty Ducks trilogy. I woke up this morning and Mighty Ducks 2 was on, so of course I had to watch it. I don't know how even a 10 year old mind can't figure out the absurdity of this ending. During the course of a 30 second timeout, they manage to have one player put on an entire set of goalie pads and a new jersey without anyone from the other team noticing. Then, with time expiring, they line up Russ from nearly 70 yards out for an uncontested shot that of course ties the game.

Whatever... that kid has range.

Borat, USC, and you

So, I haven't seen the new Borat movie yet (though I want to) but I am told that there are some fraternity brothers that make us alumni proud. [insert sarcasm here] Apparently they make some pretty degrading comments about women and minorities (in typical frat fashion at USC). Now they're upset and are seeking_an_injunction. I'm not so certain their arguments are without merit. I'd be pretty upset if someone got me drunk first and then made me sign a release waiver while telling me it had "something to do with the reliability of the vehicle they were driving." But, that being said, their big concern is that they were told that their identity and their affiliation with the University of South Carolina wouldn't be revealed. Fine, but if you were that concerned, TAKE OFF YOUR GODDAMN SOUTH CAROLINA HATS.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Failed Experiment

Well, I tried being studious for a few hours... and it turns out I am borderline illiterate. As I am roughly 1/3rd of the way through my torts reading, my friend VG comes by to say hi and asks me how torts is going. After some casual bullshitting, I discover that I am unable to even read a syllabus and have been reading the wrong assignment. I knew I should have stayed home and slept off my Halloween hangover.

This place is strangely unfamiliar

I am currently camped out in the library working on my contracts outline. This place is devoid of sunlight AND of Tiger Woods. I'm not sure I like it very much. If you don't hear from me in a few days, please send in a search party. And bring Tiger.