Redemption, Thy Name is Civil Procedure
After getting my torts grade I was a little disheartened, but CivPro was released today and it made my night. But I'm not here to talk about grades because, hey, who likes to do that anyway. I'm here to share a story of a pearl necklace:
Flash back to the first few months of law school. There was a social event being hosted at some bar in the city, and like all good 1Ls (or those of us that have just graduated college) we thought it would be a good idea to pre-game at someone's apartment. Well, scratch that. The apartment was the third-level pregaming. First, we crashed the SBA event for their free booze. Then, we went to a sushi place where, if you order more than 20 bucks or so, you get all you can drink white wine and sake. And THEN we went to my friend's apartment. Long introduction short, we were pretty sloshed.
We're all standing around shooting the shit when someone suggests shots. Oh my, this sounds like a wonderful idea, BRING OUT THE VODKA. As the shots are being poured, someone decides a toast needs to be made. Everyone keeps chanting for a toast (a la the Arrested Development episode where everyone is begging for a speech but no one wants to step to the plate). Now, I only know one toast... well, I should clarify. I only know one toast well enough to deliver it while drunk and not mess it up, but at this point I didn't know a lot of these people well enough and was not sure they could handle my sense of humor (read: a 12 year old boy's sense of humor). But, someone needed to step to the plate so I stepped up and delivered.
"A toast to Honor," I declared.
"To honor!" yelled the group.
"Get honor, stay honor, and if you can't come in her, come honor!"
As you could expect, most of the guys erupted in laughter while the remaining girls stared at me in stunned silence (I still think they were fighting to hold back the laugher). But, one woman spoke her mind.
"Oh God, you aren't one of those guys that aims for the hair are you? Man, I absolutely hate that. It gets all sticky and even when you try to shampoo it out, the water makes it stick in there even worse. It is soooo annoying."
At this point, the silence of the room was deafening. All of us are looking around awkwardly and then decide to find refuge from the awkwardity at the bottom of our shot glasses. Now, these sort of comments are generally shocking but when it comes from someone of these, errrr, ummmm, well, let's just say she has a nice personality. Except that she doesn't..... Anyway, this particular girl has since acquired quite a few nicknames including White Stripes (this is not a reference to the Crest product) and Cruella Deville.
Fast forward to today: While sitting in class, one of my classmates (a girl who was present on that day) leans over to me and says, "I have to tell you something, and it's very immature, but I can't hold it in any longer and I know you'll appreciate it. Look around the room and see if you notice someone wearing a particularly appropriate accessory."
I scanned the room for about 2 minutes and then I found it: the pearl necklace.
Flash back to the first few months of law school. There was a social event being hosted at some bar in the city, and like all good 1Ls (or those of us that have just graduated college) we thought it would be a good idea to pre-game at someone's apartment. Well, scratch that. The apartment was the third-level pregaming. First, we crashed the SBA event for their free booze. Then, we went to a sushi place where, if you order more than 20 bucks or so, you get all you can drink white wine and sake. And THEN we went to my friend's apartment. Long introduction short, we were pretty sloshed.
We're all standing around shooting the shit when someone suggests shots. Oh my, this sounds like a wonderful idea, BRING OUT THE VODKA. As the shots are being poured, someone decides a toast needs to be made. Everyone keeps chanting for a toast (a la the Arrested Development episode where everyone is begging for a speech but no one wants to step to the plate). Now, I only know one toast... well, I should clarify. I only know one toast well enough to deliver it while drunk and not mess it up, but at this point I didn't know a lot of these people well enough and was not sure they could handle my sense of humor (read: a 12 year old boy's sense of humor). But, someone needed to step to the plate so I stepped up and delivered.
"A toast to Honor," I declared.
"To honor!" yelled the group.
"Get honor, stay honor, and if you can't come in her, come honor!"
As you could expect, most of the guys erupted in laughter while the remaining girls stared at me in stunned silence (I still think they were fighting to hold back the laugher). But, one woman spoke her mind.
"Oh God, you aren't one of those guys that aims for the hair are you? Man, I absolutely hate that. It gets all sticky and even when you try to shampoo it out, the water makes it stick in there even worse. It is soooo annoying."
At this point, the silence of the room was deafening. All of us are looking around awkwardly and then decide to find refuge from the awkwardity at the bottom of our shot glasses. Now, these sort of comments are generally shocking but when it comes from someone of these, errrr, ummmm, well, let's just say she has a nice personality. Except that she doesn't..... Anyway, this particular girl has since acquired quite a few nicknames including White Stripes (this is not a reference to the Crest product) and Cruella Deville.
Fast forward to today: While sitting in class, one of my classmates (a girl who was present on that day) leans over to me and says, "I have to tell you something, and it's very immature, but I can't hold it in any longer and I know you'll appreciate it. Look around the room and see if you notice someone wearing a particularly appropriate accessory."
I scanned the room for about 2 minutes and then I found it: the pearl necklace.
posted by Hoss | 10:01 PM
4 Comments:
wow. pleased to know that is the only toast you can effectively deliver drunk. :)
you have once again almost made me burst out laughing in class...thanks for the very nice distraction...well sort of haha
also acceptable is to the women we love to the women we fuck may they never meet. :) nice form though, i've had more people give me dirty looks with that toast than anything.....
Z
Great Site. Was added to mybookmarks. Greetings From USA.
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