What kind of fruit roll-up will he roll up with next?

Life with my roommate is always a surprise and I often wake up wondering what tragedy will have overcome our apartment during the night while I'm sleeping. Anyone that has lived with me knows that I am not the neatest person in the world, but I think I'm changing my ways. For all the naysayers (here is looking at you Noyes, though you were never as bad as "you know who") I wash my egg pan every morning after I'm done now. Having 2 square feet for your entire kitchen leaves little room for error. But the combination of my roommate not being the cleanliness and a total klutz is enough to make me even wish he was as clean as me. Here's a recap of all the things that I can't think of that have happened in the not quite month since I've moved here: 1) a full trash can knocked over, not out of sheer accident but because he thought it would be a good idea to pull it toward him with his toe even though both hands were free 2) an entire bag of coffee beans spilled on the floor 3) a bottle of wine dropped on the floor and shattered 4) an "in progress" espresso machine knocked off a table (that includes liquids and ground coffee roast on the floor 5) a device with a rubber handle placed on an open flame which consequently caught fire 6) a television knocked off it's stand. Twice. In one day. And last but not least 7) a bathroom that appears as if it has been flooded after every shower.

So, who wants to come visit?