Can't stop the hustle (and bustle)
Despite my abundance of time in the city (2 weeks), I have been unable to figure out if the so-called "Northerners" are different creatures of habit than my southern brethren or if some of their behavior is just the result of shoving 1.5 million residents onto the tiny island of Manhattan... who knows. But regardless, here are a few observations and a few other things that annoy me.
Stereotypes that Southerners have about black people, Northerners have about Southerners. I was hanging out with my friend L who goes to Columbia for grad school and she made some crack about me missing all of my "fried chicken and watermelon." My first reaction was, "where the hell did that come from? I didn't know that all of us in the South were known to eat that...." But then I thought about it, and they both are delicious. How did she know?!?!?! But like Dave Chappelle says, if you don't like chicken, there is something wrong with you.... motherfucker.
People walking on the sidewalks are entirely oblivious to the world around them. When I think of the Big Apple, I think of masses of people that are very busy, with a frenetic energy about them. This is only partially true. There are certainly masses of people, as I learned when I tried to go to Trader Joe's on a weekend. And there are those that are in a hurry, which usually seems to be me. But there are still those that wander aimlessly about, usually four-wide to a group, that get in my way. I just want to push them under a taxi.
They have weird rules for the gym here. For one, you aren't allowed to wear headphones in the weight room. Why? Because some idiot hurt himself or presumably the person he was supposed to be spotting and blamed it on the headphones. *Insert GOB voice* Come on! We're supposedly a pretty good school, but apparently our students can't handle doing more than one task at a time. Chewing gum? Check. Start walki.... whooaaaa shit. Also, with space being such a valuable resource people should never be allowed to do flyes on anything but a flye machine or with dumbells. Doing it in the center of the "multi-station weight thingy" (yes, that is a technical term) takes up too much space. Especially say, if you are hypothetically some 65 year old grandma who definitely does not have GILF status doing 10 pounds a side. Why don't we save us all the trouble and just go circle jerk two guys in the locker room, that's about the same amount of resistance and then I don't have to "weight" for a machine.
Stereotypes that Southerners have about black people, Northerners have about Southerners. I was hanging out with my friend L who goes to Columbia for grad school and she made some crack about me missing all of my "fried chicken and watermelon." My first reaction was, "where the hell did that come from? I didn't know that all of us in the South were known to eat that...." But then I thought about it, and they both are delicious. How did she know?!?!?! But like Dave Chappelle says, if you don't like chicken, there is something wrong with you.... motherfucker.
People walking on the sidewalks are entirely oblivious to the world around them. When I think of the Big Apple, I think of masses of people that are very busy, with a frenetic energy about them. This is only partially true. There are certainly masses of people, as I learned when I tried to go to Trader Joe's on a weekend. And there are those that are in a hurry, which usually seems to be me. But there are still those that wander aimlessly about, usually four-wide to a group, that get in my way. I just want to push them under a taxi.
They have weird rules for the gym here. For one, you aren't allowed to wear headphones in the weight room. Why? Because some idiot hurt himself or presumably the person he was supposed to be spotting and blamed it on the headphones. *Insert GOB voice* Come on! We're supposedly a pretty good school, but apparently our students can't handle doing more than one task at a time. Chewing gum? Check. Start walki.... whooaaaa shit. Also, with space being such a valuable resource people should never be allowed to do flyes on anything but a flye machine or with dumbells. Doing it in the center of the "multi-station weight thingy" (yes, that is a technical term) takes up too much space. Especially say, if you are hypothetically some 65 year old grandma who definitely does not have GILF status doing 10 pounds a side. Why don't we save us all the trouble and just go circle jerk two guys in the locker room, that's about the same amount of resistance and then I don't have to "weight" for a machine.
posted by Hoss | 8:50 AM
2 Comments:
As I sit here reading this eating my fried chicken, but sadly, no watermelon (it's so good!), I can't help but agree with most everything you say.
I guess us hick ass southerners think alike.
Those 4 person wide chains are tourists....new yorkers and those of us who might as well be new yorkers are the ones walking with purpose, mowing you over as you stare up at the massive buildings lol Interesting observations though...
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