Which one of you was masturbating?
It's okay, you can admit it. Everyone does it, some of us even on the hour (though I'm not sure who that is). But the reason I know that one of you did it, is that God killed a kitten this morning.
I'm getting ready to leave my house when my dad comes out from behind the motorhome and tells me not to go yet. Since I'm obviously an expert mechanic (see my post below), he wanted me to check out the motorhome. He said he cranked it up and the engine started making an awful sound and he thinks a bird got in there because he thinks he saw feathers flying about. Well, it turns out it wasn't feathers. It was fur.
We get into the motorhome and look down at the top of the engine and there is some fur in the engine bay. Upon further inspection, Dr. Holmes and I found paw prints on some dusty parts of the engine. But, we don't see anything underneath there so maybe the cat just got scared and ran off. My dad says he is going to crank the engine and I'm supposed to be on the lookout for anything that is going wrong. He cranks it, sounds fine. I get a better angle to look back deep into the engine bay and what do I find? A tabby-colored ball of fur. Where is it? In between the radiator and the fan that cools the radiator. Not good news for Miss Kitty. Apparently, she/he crawled underneath the motorhome and was just chilling in the radiator fan shroud/housing when the RV started. RV 1, cat 0.
So, then we have to get to the manner of removing said cat and this was easily one of the most disturbing things I've ever done. Basically, my dad and I had to pull this cat out from the openings in between the fan blades. Imagine how small that space is on your car radiator. It's not that much bigger on this one. Not to mention, we're pulling him out by his hind legs with his ass coming out first. All this pressure caused this cat to start ripping ass in our faces. There is no smell that is worse than a dead cat's fart, and I can say that with authority. Silky seemed to think this was pretty funny, and it's all well and good until you have aersolized, digested cat food sprayed in your face. Thankfully, we got the cat out of there. Maybe we should post his head on a pole near the motorhome as a warning to other cats. The homeowner's association might be a little upset, but it could be a necessary precaution.
I can tell you one thing though: That cat had nine lives and it just spent them all.
I'm getting ready to leave my house when my dad comes out from behind the motorhome and tells me not to go yet. Since I'm obviously an expert mechanic (see my post below), he wanted me to check out the motorhome. He said he cranked it up and the engine started making an awful sound and he thinks a bird got in there because he thinks he saw feathers flying about. Well, it turns out it wasn't feathers. It was fur.
We get into the motorhome and look down at the top of the engine and there is some fur in the engine bay. Upon further inspection, Dr. Holmes and I found paw prints on some dusty parts of the engine. But, we don't see anything underneath there so maybe the cat just got scared and ran off. My dad says he is going to crank the engine and I'm supposed to be on the lookout for anything that is going wrong. He cranks it, sounds fine. I get a better angle to look back deep into the engine bay and what do I find? A tabby-colored ball of fur. Where is it? In between the radiator and the fan that cools the radiator. Not good news for Miss Kitty. Apparently, she/he crawled underneath the motorhome and was just chilling in the radiator fan shroud/housing when the RV started. RV 1, cat 0.
So, then we have to get to the manner of removing said cat and this was easily one of the most disturbing things I've ever done. Basically, my dad and I had to pull this cat out from the openings in between the fan blades. Imagine how small that space is on your car radiator. It's not that much bigger on this one. Not to mention, we're pulling him out by his hind legs with his ass coming out first. All this pressure caused this cat to start ripping ass in our faces. There is no smell that is worse than a dead cat's fart, and I can say that with authority. Silky seemed to think this was pretty funny, and it's all well and good until you have aersolized, digested cat food sprayed in your face. Thankfully, we got the cat out of there. Maybe we should post his head on a pole near the motorhome as a warning to other cats. The homeowner's association might be a little upset, but it could be a necessary precaution.
I can tell you one thing though: That cat had nine lives and it just spent them all.
posted by Hoss | 11:01 AM
2 Comments:
Free Money - Bigger Penis
That is one helluva fucked up story.
it was me.
Z
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