You too can be a scholar!

I was a little sleep deprived at work today given some late night antics with my new kitten last night. Combine that with some dry-erase board cleaning agent used in a closed office, and you have the following conversation.

Me: This might be a stupid question, but do oil rigs just float out there in the ocean?

B: Can you please think about the question you just asked me? You know they have to drill for the oil right? They don't just scoop it out of the water.

Me: Well, yeah, I get that. But this article about the Brent Spar keeps referring to it as an oil buoy and ballast tanks. Makes me think about submarines. Maybe the oil platform floats in the water, but is anchored into the ocean floor to make sure it doesn't move away.

B: And you're the one writing the texts for our brochures? How bout you say the word "pylon" and I will give you a prize.

Me: Okay, you're right... I was being a bit dumb, remember the sleep thing? Anyway, maybe I need to revolutionize offshore oil drilling. Maybe they should float there. That way when the oil source runs out, they can, you know, pull up the drill and float to the next one.

T: *nearly laughing hysterically* This isn't like a goddamn river logjam... you can't float on over to a new oil spot.

Me: Fine, we'll motorize the platforms! It will be like a giant boat and can just drive on over. Wait, well, they can't be gas-powered engines because that would violate the number one law of selling drugs... you know, don't get high off your own supply.

*everyone stares blankly*

Me: You know, because they are drilling for oil but would be using gas to power the engines....

B: Wow, that was a tangent.

Me: Ehhh, maybe more like a two-step analogy.

B: Sure, if that's what you want to call it. Why don't you just have guys on the top of the oil rig lasso whales as they swim by. Then the whales can take you to the new oil.

Me: Now we're talking!