Toilet Monster Captured!

I'm quite certain if this were a character on Sesame Street when I was growing up I would have been terrified. While I do actually (despite rumors to the contrary) find nanotechnology interesting, I'm sure most people are not too enthralled by our activities here at the NanoCenter. We have, however, been terrorized by a creature I have affectionately nicknamed the Toilet Monster (or the Artist Formerly Known as the Shit-Hurling Ape) for the past year. This guy (well, presumably a guy because the events occur in the men's restroom) comes in and uses our bathrooms for the feared "#2." But, he apparently has a tremendous fear of coming in contact with anything bathroom related. When he is done, there are paper towels thrown all about the entire restroom including handfuls of paper towels flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, the plumbing does not tolerate this kind of behavior. Consequently, the men's bathrooms are closed nearly twice a week as someone has to come in and unclog our toilets.

Well, this bastard was finally caught brown-handed over the weekend. Apparently, this guy named 'Earl' is a mentally handicapped employee who works next door. He has an irrational fear of bathrooms and is embarassed to use them at his place of work so has decided ot come next door to visit ours. Hopefully we won't see him for some time now, although I imagine it is very hard to wipe delicately while wearing a straight jacket.