A Short Poker Story

This post was originally going to be a *side note* to another post of mine, but then I got way too engrossed in poker and decided it deserved its own space.

One of my best friends played in a Pot-Limit Omaha (PLO) poker tournament in Reno the other night. For those not familiar with the game, each player receives four down (unexposed) cards and then plays them in conjunction with a 5 card community board (everyone can play those five cards). You must play two cards from your hand, however, the sheer number of down cards makes a lot of good hands possible which makes it difficult for anyone to be a prohibitive favorite before the flop (the first three community cards exposed). One of our running jokes is that even if you get all your money in with As-Ac-Ks-Kc (considered the top hand, because you have the two highest pocket pairs, and two draws at the nut flush/straights) against 2c-3h-7d-8s (a pretty godawful Omaha hand) you're still probably only a 55 to 45 favorite. Well, last night my friend got all of his money in with As-Ac-Qs-Jc which is still fairly solid against another random hand... 7-8-9-10. Turns out he was only a 58_to_42_favorite , but of course lost anyway. That's Omaha for you.

If you want a really entertaining read on PLO, I suggest the script of EuroRounders found here. Also required is repeated viewings of Rounders to get the subtle jokes. For those of you too lazy to go to a hyperlinked site, I will post my favorite excerpts below.

Michel: “I raise.”
Teddy CIA: “It’s a position raise. I call.”
- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -
Michel: “I bet the pot.”
Teddy CIA: “I raise the pot.”
Michel: “I reraise the pot.”
Teddy CIA: “I reraise the pot.”
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel (voiceover): “I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I’m debating a call, but really I’m just thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the[censored] is in Monte Carlo.”
Michel: *shrugs* “Okay, well, I re-pot it, I’m all in, because I don’t think you have a pair.” *winks at thecamera*
Teddy CIA: “Who are you winking at? It doesn’t matter, I call.”
Michel (voiceover): “I know before he even says it.”
Teddy CIA: “I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set.”

Michel: “Look…Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits downat the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn’t a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody’s just, you know, watching this guy.”
- Joey Croissant nods -
Michel: “So you know what I did? I sat down.”
Joey Croissant: “No way, you need at least 300,000euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorishAmerican!”
- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-sixminutes -
Michel: “Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot.”
Joey Croissant: “Aces? Kings? Ace-King double suited?Suited aces? High connectors? Middle double suited connectors? Two big pair?”
Michel: “Rags.”
Joey Croissant: “That’s probably fine too, you’re only like a 48/52 dog.”
Michel: “I raised. And he came over the top of me, like I was a boorish American. I re-popped it. He potted it again. I think for like two seconds and then I re-pot it.”
Joey Croissant: “Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?”
Michel: “After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed. Anyway, he thinks for a while, looks at me, checks his cards again, and he mucks. I take it down. And then he looks at me and says, ‘I have to know. Did you have it?’ And I said, ‘I’m sorry Marcel, I can’t remember.’”
Joey Croissant: “Face!”
Michel: “I know, totally. Anyway, based on that one hand, I felt confident gambling for all the money I had, at one time.”

Teddy CIA: “We play, heads up, Pot Limit Omaha, 25 and50 blinds, until one of us has it all?”
Michel: “Out of sheer curiosity, you realize you’re giving up like boat loads of equity by agreeing to gamble for money that’s effectively yours anyway, right? That you could just not let me play, and then kill me and take what I have?”
Teddy CIA: “I know, but I am a boorish American!”
- Michel and Teddy CIA laugh for seventy-two minutes -

- The flop reads 10-9-5, with two spades -
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel: “Pot.”
Teddy CIA: “Pot.”
Michel: “Pot. I’m all in.”
Teddy CIA: “Alright, I call. What do you have?”
Michel: “Jack high flush draw and middle set.”
Teddy CIA: “Wrap, with a king high flush draw.”
Michel: “Boy, I sure hope my 5:4 edge holds up,otherwise I am going to die.”

Okay, so I was planning on just putting in excerpts but the whole thing is so damn funny you probably just read about three-quarters of the script. So sue me.