Random Musings of a Morning Commute
My commute to work is not long by any means, 2.4_miles_to_be_exact. Nor is Columbia a big city. Even as the state's capital, the within city limits population is probably no more than 200,000, 600,000 at best when you include the "bustling metropolis" areas of Irmo, West Columbia, Cayce and the like. But, I do come in on one of the "major" streets of Columbia (meaning it is paved, with lanes, and traffic signals, and the like). And, despite its size, Columbia seems to be a shipping mecca of the Southeast as I cross FOUR railroad tracks on my 2.4 mile commute. My exploits with the trains have been more frustrating_than_funny. Combine this with a high percentage of idiotic, drunk, or just plain redneck drivers and you never know what might happen. With that in mind....
Today, I was driving behind a Plymouth/Dodge Neon with decals on it denoting its 2.0 Magnum engine. I suppose that is designed to intimidate. After all, the .45 Magnum pistol was called so because of its increased muzzle velocity and nasty kick. But for some reason, driving a Neon does not conjure up images of Dirty Harry firing off a few rounds with a gigantic pistol. Rather, I think of an asthmatic kid trying to work a blowgun... but I digress. I suppose the 2.0L engine is a step-up from a 1.6L engine, or that hamster in a wheel, whichever powered the entry-level Neon. But, to top it all off, this driver had put a sticker on the rear window which read "Yes it's fast, and no you can't drive it." I'm sorry to break the news in a public forum like this, but Neon, you sir, are no Ferrari. I can't think of any one of my close personal friends that has dreams of piloting this purebred steed. Most of them would probably be pissed to find out it's their rental car.
The second event of note is even more impressive, especially since this is the second time I have seen this happen in Columbia. One of the traffic lights had malfunctioned at a large intersection and reverted into what I assume is its safety mode. The direction that houses the major flow of traffic in the mornings was given the "flashing yellow," which I assume to mean "slow down and proceed with caution." The other direction was given the "flashing red," which to me means "come to a stop at the intersection and drive through when safe." Apparently I am from the old school of driving on this point. Here in Columbia the "flashing red" means "if you can drive quickly through while the red light is not on, your driving is A-OK." Seriously. Within the last two months I have seen this happen twice, people driving directly through on a flashing red without slowing down or stopping at all. Keep in mind this isn't just one person either, entire waves of people are coming through unabated. Maybe we should all give this new driving trend some time. It could serve to weed out some of the "best and brightest" of Columbia. There is nothing quite like seeing Social_Darwinism in action.
By the way, if I am wrong about what those traffic signals mean, feel free to contact me. I would really like to know.
Today, I was driving behind a Plymouth/Dodge Neon with decals on it denoting its 2.0 Magnum engine. I suppose that is designed to intimidate. After all, the .45 Magnum pistol was called so because of its increased muzzle velocity and nasty kick. But for some reason, driving a Neon does not conjure up images of Dirty Harry firing off a few rounds with a gigantic pistol. Rather, I think of an asthmatic kid trying to work a blowgun... but I digress. I suppose the 2.0L engine is a step-up from a 1.6L engine, or that hamster in a wheel, whichever powered the entry-level Neon. But, to top it all off, this driver had put a sticker on the rear window which read "Yes it's fast, and no you can't drive it." I'm sorry to break the news in a public forum like this, but Neon, you sir, are no Ferrari. I can't think of any one of my close personal friends that has dreams of piloting this purebred steed. Most of them would probably be pissed to find out it's their rental car.
The second event of note is even more impressive, especially since this is the second time I have seen this happen in Columbia. One of the traffic lights had malfunctioned at a large intersection and reverted into what I assume is its safety mode. The direction that houses the major flow of traffic in the mornings was given the "flashing yellow," which I assume to mean "slow down and proceed with caution." The other direction was given the "flashing red," which to me means "come to a stop at the intersection and drive through when safe." Apparently I am from the old school of driving on this point. Here in Columbia the "flashing red" means "if you can drive quickly through while the red light is not on, your driving is A-OK." Seriously. Within the last two months I have seen this happen twice, people driving directly through on a flashing red without slowing down or stopping at all. Keep in mind this isn't just one person either, entire waves of people are coming through unabated. Maybe we should all give this new driving trend some time. It could serve to weed out some of the "best and brightest" of Columbia. There is nothing quite like seeing Social_Darwinism in action.
By the way, if I am wrong about what those traffic signals mean, feel free to contact me. I would really like to know.
posted by Hoss | 9:10 AM
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